BANG! BANG! Interview : DEATHBYROMY

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Banger. Bang, bang, Bang, bang. Death by Romy on Aviti. Bonsoir. [00:00:19] Speaker B: Hello. Oh, she speak French. [00:00:24] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:00:24] Speaker B: Amazing. [00:00:25] Speaker A: We're not. We're not going to speak in English anymore. [00:00:27] Speaker B: Perfect. [00:00:29] Speaker C: I wish. [00:00:31] Speaker A: So welcome in our home. Welcome in the sofa. Thank you for coming. And. And we're so glad. We're so glad to see you because we listen to your music all day long. You know, we just dance on it. We just do things on it. [00:00:45] Speaker C: I want to know what that means. [00:00:47] Speaker A: Maybe you will know. [00:00:48] Speaker B: Don't worry. Don't worry. We're gonna talk about it. [00:00:52] Speaker A: And we love all the things, like dark things, pop things, metal things, trap things. There's a mix of all of this, and that's so modern for me, you know, that's the. The new music for me. I'm 45, so that's why I say that. [00:01:07] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:01:09] Speaker A: So before everything, first of all, I just want to ask you the question we used to ask. What do you think about Paris? What this town means to you? What does it represent to you? [00:01:24] Speaker C: Paris has been a staple in my head since I was a little girl as being something that is very much attached to a symbol of romance. You know, it's one of the first countries I visited with my family outside of the US Came to see some friends when I was little, stayed at their home, got kind of a taste of the Parisian life. And when I signed my first record deal, I actually came here with my first boyfriend. I paid for me and him to come here to France. Very romantic of me. And France has been one of the places I've now gotten to return the most on tour in Europe. So it's iconic. It's beautiful. It's gothic underneath. It's, you know, underneath, it's very packaged, kind of, you know, commercialized romantic appeal. I think it has to many Americans. It has a very dark side, which I love. You know, the catacombs are incredible. Some of the most beautiful cemeteries in the world. And a lot of rich, dark culture exists here. So I love coming to Paris. I wish I spoke French because maybe I wouldn't be viewed as such a stupid American. But I think I have to prioritize learning a couple other languages first for different reasons. [00:02:37] Speaker A: But sometimes this town is kind of violent for the people that doesn't really know it, because you talk about the Romans that everybody is just talking about. But this is a town, a huge town. [00:02:47] Speaker C: So, of course. Yeah. No, it's. It's actually a bit abrasive. I think coming here as well, you Know, the French have kind of a reputation of being a bit harsh, being a bit brittle, but I love it. There's nothing I love more than cracking open someone who, you know, doesn't want to like you. [00:03:05] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, this is really a big difference between the American people and. And French people. Like, American people are often easy, easygoing. It feels like they are open and easygoing. You can talk, but in the end, it's not really intense. In France, I think it's the opposite. It's like the. The first. The first time you meet someone is like really cold and. And. But once you break the little shell, you find a little. [00:03:35] Speaker C: That's more satisfying. [00:03:39] Speaker A: That's the challenge. [00:03:41] Speaker C: I don't know. I think I'm from Los Angeles, born and raised, and I think LA has a very bad rap, but also a valid one for being superficial, because everyone in LA thinks they're someone. Everyone in LA thinks the world revolves around them. And you are meant to put on a smile, walk around, you know, kind of sell yourself in that city. So I think what's kind of gross is you give this kind of packaged version of yourself, or at least many people do this. I don't. I respect the French culture and I respect being blunt. I respect being cold, I respect being honest or being really whatever you are. You know, it's like, why. Why would anyone want to cut through the frills? Why not just be real? [00:04:25] Speaker A: Maybe it's. [00:04:26] Speaker C: I. I respect that about French culture, I guess. You know, you also can't go around expecting everyone to like you. It's a little silly to kind of sell that. [00:04:34] Speaker B: It'S true. [00:04:36] Speaker A: So how can you explain your music to someone that doesn't know hit the way you want? People understand your music. [00:04:46] Speaker C: Sure. My music is an experimentation and a conversation I'm having with myself. Wherever I met in that time in my life. It is very influenced by a ton of different genres. And I think the easiest way to kind of break it down is it is pop music with a very heavy and raw soul. And, I mean, I follow. I follow common pop structure through and through. I, you know, I aim for big choruses and things, and I aim for things to be catchy like the rest of us. But there is a grit to it and an ugliness to it that I refuse to separate myself from. So I think when people ask me, like, what does your music sound like? I say it's pop music with a heavy edge. Yeah, it's. It's gritty, it's electronic, it's got A bit of industrial. It touches on metal. I wouldn't. I wouldn't call it metal, but, you know, there's metal influence there, and it's whatever the fuck it wants to be. [00:05:55] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. We can feel the pop kind of culture, but in fact, everything is pop culture today. You know, like metal things or so. [00:06:06] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:06] Speaker A: And there's the groove, there's the sensual thing, sexual thing, all the things we love. You know. [00:06:17] Speaker C: I was saying to somebody yesterday, my music would not exist if rap music didn't exist too. A lot of my influences, which I think people would be surprised to hear, come from the rap space. And I don't think it's as obvious maybe that that is a thing. But, yeah, I have to give props to, like, the whole trap scene and the Memphis scene that I was very influenced in when I first started making music, because that's kept a hold on the music to this day and still very much exists in there too. [00:06:48] Speaker A: But the trap music is kind of heavy. Heavy music. [00:06:52] Speaker C: It is, in a way. Yeah. So 808 subs, you know, we have 808s and bass drops in metal music now you see modern metal music, and that's nothing without. You got subs and you have live bass. [00:07:04] Speaker A: And when you were young, because we talk about the life of the. The artists we. We have here. Do you remember the first time you. You met the. The heavy sound? Something really rude, really strong. And you have a feeling like, oh. [00:07:24] Speaker C: Well, the first thing that did that for me was Kanye West's music. [00:07:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:30] Speaker C: In his album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. And there's a song, a famous song, everyone knows. It's Monster. [00:07:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:07:39] Speaker C: And it's violent and it's vulgar and it's powerful and it's edgy. And that was one of the first things that introduced me, I think, to music that was heavy innocence. And from there, I became very obsessed with his music. I explored more kind of darker rappers. I was very into three six Mafia and then bridged into. I love Denzel Curry super, super early, like his SoundCloud days. I was so influenced by him. And that is what actually bridged me. I think it was Denzel Curry first that bridge me into, then looking at music like Nine Inch Nails, Bring Me the Horizon, Corn fucking Limp Bizkit, which is. I'm smiling because I'm just learned. I'm playing some shows with them here in June. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Nice. [00:08:36] Speaker C: I'll be coming back. And down that road, I went into stoner metal. I got into, like, things like bellsabong and Some like smaller groups and I just went on and on and on. Got into the hardcore scene as a teenager and went to all the small hardcore shows in LA frequented. The Smell, had my first mosh pit. And it's funny to say that Kanye west was my intro to heavy music, but it was, it was the first thing that had that energy. [00:09:05] Speaker A: We can understand it. [00:09:06] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:09:07] Speaker B: But it's funny because when I was listening to your music, I could feel the, the more metal or industrial influence and, and the heavy hip hop things. And I was wondering, I was wondering because in, in your vocals you have like some sometimes distortion or that makes it more. But your, your way of saying it is more like hip hop than metal, I think. [00:09:35] Speaker C: Sure, yeah. [00:09:36] Speaker B: And I was wondering from which side did you get this, the, this influence? [00:09:42] Speaker C: From my vocal style. Yeah, yeah, that's all over the place. My favorite comparison I think I've started getting in the last couple years is the love child of Manson and Gaga, because Manson's probably the only name I left out of that list. But it was Kanye and Manson who are my first two influences to things that were edgier than what my parents were listening to. That like really started to inspire the side of me that I hadn't explored yet that was darker, you know, and when it comes to vocal reference, I'm really all over the place. But I do, I do want to say that Gaga is probably a good North Star for me because she's, she's not a polished pop voice. She is a, she is a singer through and through and through. Like classically trained singer. Like, I could only like hope that with training I could maybe obtain something close to her. But she's never abandoned this like grit and this like smoke and sultrinos that she has in her voice, even when she's cutting these like, you know, big clean pop songs. And I really admire that because of the energy also. [00:10:55] Speaker A: There's the energy in the voice. [00:10:58] Speaker C: There's the energy and emotion. It's not, it's not so polished with auto tune and these things that get rid of, you know, caricature and the. [00:11:04] Speaker B: Sense of melody too. You have a, like, you work a lot on your melodies and you have like. I think that's something that makes you, makes me recognize one of your song is your, your, the, the way you, you bring your melodies to it. Oh, it's really singular. [00:11:22] Speaker C: Thank you. I appreciate that. [00:11:25] Speaker A: So when you were young, your, your parents just listen heavy music. So also. That's right. [00:11:30] Speaker C: Not really, no. The only reason I discovered The Kanye west record is because my dad. He wanted to hate. My dad hates Kanye West. But before dismissing it, you know, Rolling Stone named My Beautiful Directors of Fantasy the best album of that year, which was a huge, like, controversial moment in history and pop culture, everything. And so my dad said, you know, before I dismiss this, I'm gonna give it a try. I'll buy the record, get it. He got the CD from Amoeba, I think, listened to it once and said no. So I took his trash and kept that for myself. But my parents were into more of the classic rock, space, psychedelic rock, the Beatles, Zeppelin. And then my dad also was very into early electronica. [00:12:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:26] Speaker C: All different, like, early house music in the 90s. Hot chip. Nice. He put me onto the knife. He put me onto so many cool electronic artists as well. Mia, Sleigh Bells. I know those because of my parents. [00:12:42] Speaker A: That's cool. [00:12:42] Speaker C: And they're some of my biggest influences. Those people I just named as well. But no, I'm. I'm just lucky my parents had a broad taste and that they were willing to try things, I think, because even though my dad didn't like some of the heavier stuff, it was sprinkled in and around the house, I was able to find it still. [00:13:01] Speaker A: That's a great thing. If you had this kind of music at the beginning, and the relation with the music is from the. The beginning of your life because your parents have a relation with the music. So that's a great thing. [00:13:11] Speaker C: Yeah, they're. [00:13:12] Speaker A: Everybody got this. [00:13:14] Speaker C: Yes, I know you. [00:13:16] Speaker B: You. I think I read that you wrote your first song around five. [00:13:22] Speaker C: Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. [00:13:24] Speaker B: So was it? I. I guess there was a lot of music around you, because to. To think about doing a song at five, you must. [00:13:34] Speaker C: Well, I was also influenced by a very popular American children's show called Hannah Montana. [00:13:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:13:41] Speaker C: So being raised in a house of music lovers, I was already singing and kind of like, you know, dancing around the house, singing. My mother would sing to me. But then I saw this show for the first time, and I think something like switched in my brain and seeing this fake story of a normal girl who had a double life as a rock star told me, well, of course that can be you, too. If she can do it, you can do it. And I've led with that for the rest of my life. And that's how I'm here. [00:14:15] Speaker A: So that's the time you change you just to switch. [00:14:17] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I got a notebook and I started writing songs on the school bus with my best friend. And I've been writing ever since I realized in middle school when I first started going through some, like, you know, heavy stuff mentally, that not only is songwriting fun, but it can be a incredible tool for processing your emotions, putting those thoughts into words, and, you know, expressing yourself in a way that is. Expressing yourself in a way that is more free and fluid. [00:14:52] Speaker A: Yeah, you write it, and after you can read it again. One week after Engage was like, okay, that's me. That's the real me. And I'm okay with that. I agree. [00:15:02] Speaker C: Even if that's you just in that moment. Even if that was you existing in that single moment in which you wrote that, you know, we all. We all have dark thoughts. Whether it's something that we sit with for a long time or we sit with it for a month, we sit with it for a year, we sit with it for a minute. It's something worth saying and releasing that way. And music is a powerful tool to do that. [00:15:25] Speaker B: We can see in your lyrics that you express a lot of things through music. [00:15:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I do. [00:15:30] Speaker B: Also really dark things. Is it easy for you to. Because it's something to write it for you, but it's something else to show it to everybody? [00:15:43] Speaker C: Totally. [00:15:45] Speaker B: Is it hard for you to show this to everybody, or you like the song and you're like, yeah, I need to express it and people need to hear it. [00:15:57] Speaker C: The latter. Everything that has ever scared me has been the most worth it to express. And I think that's not only true about songwriting and sharing art. I think it's true about simple conversation between friends, between lovers, between enemies, between co workers. Because without honesty and vulnerability, there's no connection. And without ugliness, there is no beauty. So if we're not willing to express the things that are raw and ugly and scary, then we have no hope to obtain beautiful things if we're not willing to face those sides of us, you know? So some of the most exciting songs to put out have been the ones that made me a little uncomfortable, made me a little scared or concerned about how I may be perceived after putting it out, you know? But I think all the more reason to do it. [00:16:45] Speaker A: And even with the time, long time, after you write the songs or the lyrics of something, do you feel always the same, or do you feel, again, the same thing you feel you feel at this moment? Is. Is not. Is it hard to sing again and again during the gigs? [00:17:02] Speaker C: Sometimes. It depends. It depends. There's certain emotions that I think I've encapsulated really well in certain songs. That will fortunately and unfortunately always bring up a certain feeling. And I had a few of those on my last album that I've been performing. And that feel so cathartic to perform because. Yeah, it's like. It's like a wound on your arm. And, you know, the second you scratch at that wound, it's opened and the blood can come out again. And that's kind of what it's like singing certain songs. You know, it's taking yourself back to that place, opening up that memory and allowing yourself to experience it again. But getting to do that on a stage with a ton of people who also connect and relate to it, I think is a shared healing experience for myself and for them. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Yeah, like a great doctor, a great therapist. Like, everybody is there. Just. [00:18:06] Speaker C: Yeah, thank you. It's a lot cheaper. I think my concert tickets is a lot cheaper than my therapy. A therapist is expensive, but she's worth it. [00:18:17] Speaker A: And so. Well, when you were young, when you were at school and everything, you. You were just like feeling alone or. Because you. You think you. You thought you were different than the other ones. [00:18:31] Speaker C: I definitely felt different than other kids. And it's one of those unshakable things that I think many, many people experience in a bubble as a kid. It's something that I think more of us experience than we talk about. Even to this day. Even in. As adult. As adults, I find myself saying, you know, I felt othered or I felt outcast and learning that people I didn't think shared the same experience did as well. And the. The process of becoming a fully conscious human being is brutal. It's like getting jumped on the side of the road again and again by a gang of people who don't like you. And you are growing and you have acne and you have braces, and the world is. And your parents are. And their relationship and everything around you is. And you gotta find the beauty in it. There's no other. There's no other choice. There's something in life that makes everyone feel othered. Even. Even rich kids, even people who seemingly have things, you know, all together. They've got something that they hate to look at in the mirror, and they've got something that they hate to fall asleep thinking about. And though I did feel super othered as a kid, I'm now, like, so comforted by my experience because it made me who I am today. And, yeah, I think if it was. If I wasn't forced to. To learn and unlearn weird social habits through feeling like such an outsider I wouldn't have developed such a comfortable and confident sense of myself in this unpolished version of myself that I like to exist as now. And I think the people who were too comfortable, who didn't feel othered, who were naturally fitting into this box or these expectations for themselves end up more uncomfortable down the road. So I'm. I'm grateful for the experience I had of feeling like a little loser because I was one and I'm not now. [00:20:45] Speaker A: That's what I want to say. That's like. What's the word in revenge? Revenge, yes, revenge on that. [00:20:55] Speaker C: Success is the best revenge. [00:20:58] Speaker A: So maybe that's why you choose this, this kind of job too. Because you want to say to the other ones, look at me, I can do it. And go yourself. [00:21:06] Speaker C: Absolutely, absolutely. And more people need to say that because little me looked at people like Gaga, you know, same kind of attitude, looked at Manson. Same kind of attitude. Fuck you if you don't get me. That's fine. I'm not going to let it stop me from expressing myself because it's really difficult. [00:21:24] Speaker A: When we are young, we want to be. To like the other ones or we. Everyone wants to speak to ourselves. [00:21:31] Speaker C: Yeah, everyone wants to be liked. I still want to be liked to this day. It's a natural human instinct to want to be liked, to be accepted, to be loved. But the only thing I wish I can teach to younger people who listen to me is that you want to be liked for you. You don't just want to be liked. You want to be liked for the ugly, for the shitty, for the snotty, for the sick, the unpolished version of you. You don't want to be liked for that. You that said yes and smiled through a bunch of things, you know, that's. [00:22:00] Speaker A: All show, that's what we are doing. Because when we were young it was quite rude. Not. Maybe not the same. I don't know the difference between Paris and la, but maybe LA is really hard. I don't know. [00:22:14] Speaker C: Who knows? I think kids have it hard everywhere. Yeah, I, yeah, I can't even imagine how much harder kids have it some places but. [00:22:25] Speaker A: And today we talk a lot about this. Today kids are. Got the social media and everything. So yeah, the violence is everywhere. Every time. I know you're inundated with it, you're. [00:22:37] Speaker C: Inundated with too much information. Violent information, good information, bad information. It's. Yeah, it's a powerful and dangerous tool all at once. [00:22:50] Speaker A: Oh, so be strong, Be strong. You will see after everything's gonna be okay. Because you. You will be yourself. And that's the beautiful thing in the. In the world. So what's the relationship between you and your parents today with your music? When they listen to your music. [00:23:10] Speaker B: Do they. Do they listen to your music? [00:23:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:12] Speaker A: Or maybe they know they don't because. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Some lyrics could be. [00:23:19] Speaker A: I'm just asking that because my parents hate to watch the show because I always talk about my sexual things and I'm gay, so my father doesn't like it. [00:23:27] Speaker B: So it's so funny because he's lost. When we were talking about having you on the show, I was saying there's a lot of thing about depression and mental health and stuff like this and. And a lot of thing more sexual about sex. And it's basically a mix of us. [00:23:52] Speaker C: Amazing. So which one's the depressed one? [00:23:54] Speaker B: Which is the same. [00:23:56] Speaker A: Just imagine we are both a little bit mentally disturbed. [00:24:01] Speaker C: Purpose. [00:24:01] Speaker B: But one is more depressed and one is more. [00:24:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:06] Speaker A: You know, when you search by yourself, you try things and sometimes you do wrong things because you want to try and you want to know what you are. [00:24:16] Speaker B: Sometimes you keep doing it because you like it. [00:24:20] Speaker C: And sometimes it's a little disturbing and you liked it and then you learned a little more about yourself because of it. So when I put out I kill everything, I was fucking terrified of my family. Of course, my dad, especially my mother has been fully desensitized to me as a being for a long time now, I think. I think she has. My mother has always been so beyond accepting and encouraging of me. Discovering myself, exploring who I am, my sexuality, my self expression, my everything. And she has been there to support me and protect me equally. And she's not surprised by anything I do at this point. And she loves me for who I am, so she also gets very much that. Though some of the themes I. Though all of the themes I explore are real, there's also a tinge of the dramatic, you know, there is a tinge of questioning in the creation. You know, that's why you put it out there. But I was. I was. I was really scared when I put that one out about what my dad was gonna think about whether his friends would send it to him. The video was very crazy, you know, and I've done a million crazier things since, so I don't think my dad loves to see me in like the little outfits I wear sometimes. But he's not ashamed of me and he's very proud of me and what I'm doing, and he loves that I'm outspoken And that I'm confident and I'm grateful that my father can at least differentiate my confidence and my self exploration as my journey. Whether it's something, you know, he loves or thinks is like, yeah, go you girl is fine. Your dad doesn't need to like everything you wear. I'm lucky that I have two parents who support me doing what I do. You know, my dad did not like me getting tattoos. He hates that I don't have eyebrows. But he loves me and I'm like, kind of lucky for that. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Oh. And I think he knows that nothing is true in all of this. It's all fake tattoos, just makeup. Nothing is really in the songs. It's just for the show. [00:26:45] Speaker C: It's all an act. I go home and I just scrub it all. R. Yeah. [00:26:54] Speaker B: No, just take so much time to do it exactly the same every day. [00:26:58] Speaker C: I have a guy for that. [00:27:02] Speaker A: So that, that's cool. That's nice thing, you know, And I'm always asking that too. Why is that the father, the problem? You know, always we. [00:27:10] Speaker C: It's always the dad. [00:27:11] Speaker A: Yeah, it's always the dad. Why we always like, oh, Mommy's okay. She's going to say, I'm not okay, but I just want you to be happy. That's all. But the father, you, you were just like, oh, I'm going to. [00:27:27] Speaker B: He's more protective. You want to protect. [00:27:29] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes they say. [00:27:34] Speaker B: Stop bringing your dad everywhere. [00:27:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm. That's my therapy here. Okay, sure. [00:27:41] Speaker C: Like I said, my concert tickets are cheaper than therapy. So I got you, I got you whatever you need. We can't leave our fathers anywhere. Unfortunately, they're half of who we are. And until we, you know, go through these processes of doing things that scare us and things that we explore on our own to discover ourselves, I think it's a. You know, there's a lot of unlearning that has to be done for everyone. Yeah. Which is something I sat with a lot last year actually. Yeah. Yeah. [00:28:15] Speaker A: And. And now you, you're still young, but you, you quit the. The school at 15. That's it. [00:28:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:21] Speaker A: So it's really young. I quit school really young, but the school is too. So. [00:28:30] Speaker C: Organized education is. You can learn more in books and you can learn more online today, and nothing is worth going into student debt for years. But unfortunately, these systems are in place to create a certain hierarchy of how we live and the jobs we're allowed to have or that we qualify for. So because I didn't do good in school. And because I didn't have friends, I said, fuck this shit, I'm out of here. I dropped out, got my ged. So I did graduate and I never needed to show that diploma for anything I ever did. [00:29:06] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:29:07] Speaker C: No. [00:29:07] Speaker B: Oh, that's crazy. [00:29:09] Speaker C: No, I worked a bunch of normal jobs. They asked what the highest level of education I was, and I could have said I graduated UCLA because they never checked. [00:29:17] Speaker B: But you did not. [00:29:18] Speaker C: No, no. I'm not good with geography and I'm still learning how to read, but I'm really good at writing. Yeah. [00:29:29] Speaker A: Okay. So. So was he. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Yeah. So you said that the school is also here to prevent you from doing whatever you want, doing certain jobs or stuff like this. I guess being a rock star is not part of the thing that school tells you you can do, but you choose to do to be a rock star. And how come did you get to this? Because doing music, loving doing music is something. But when you. [00:30:04] Speaker A: That's a dream. Yeah, I think so. [00:30:07] Speaker B: It was a dream you got from a long time. Apparently. [00:30:11] Speaker C: It was the one thing that waved its hand through everything else again and again. There was moments I questioned doing other things and I was defeated by one thing or another. Be it that I was a slow reader, that I was struggling in a class, that I failed math, that I didn't even want to be working towards the things that I was learning in school. And I was good at singing and I was good at writing. And I knew that very early whether anyone else wanted to listen or anyone else told me it was good. I knew it was. And people talk about this like, artists need to have delusion. Artists need to, like, tell themselves, fake it till you make it this, that or the other. I don't agree with that, and I didn't have that. I knew I was good and I knew that that's what I was going to do since I was very little. So when I dropped out of high school, I had a plan. It was not, what am I going to do? It was, now I'm going to make music and I'm going to work whatever job I need to work until I have the money to fund the project, until I get a record deal, until I do this or I do that and I'm making music. And I did. I worked a bunch of normal jobs, million restaurants, shitty conditions, until I signed my first distribution deal at 17, quit my job, never worked a normal job again. I'm so blessed. I signed my first record deal at 19 and I now work On a project by project basis with an incredible distributor who gives me full creative freedom and just enough money to barely make this happen. Yeah, it's great, but it's worth it. And I know it's going to pay off. [00:32:07] Speaker A: Music, it's kind of hard. [00:32:08] Speaker B: It's hard to be able to do music. [00:32:11] Speaker C: It costs a lot of fucking money. It doesn't matter that you're pretty. It doesn't matter that you're talented. It doesn't matter that you're the best single singer in the whole country. There are a million things that go into it, and you have to be relentlessly willing to hear. No, a million times. To hear that you are too ugly for the campaign. To hear that you are not the right sound, not the right vocalist, not big enough, not pretty enough, not this enough, not that enough. There's a million superficial factors that go into it, and there are a million things that have little to do with talent. Everything to do with who, you know, whose ass you kissed, who's. Maybe I shouldn't say that one, but. [00:32:52] Speaker B: Oh, I was. I was. I was waiting for a stronger one. [00:32:58] Speaker C: Yeah, who. Who you fucked? There's. There's a lot of games involved with it, and to do it the way I've done it is probably harder than all. I didn't fuck anyone. I didn't kiss anyone's ass. I've been unapologetic and shitty. I fired A&Rs. I fired managers left and right. I've yelled at people. I've been a diva. I've been kicked off of. I've not been a diva. I have morals and I have things I stand for, and I have things I'm not willing to shut the fuck up about. And that's gotten me kicked off of shows. It's gotten me disallowed to participate in certain things. And it's got a bunch of brands that don't want to work with me, but at the end of the day, I don't. I didn't. I didn't do this because I thought it was going to be easy. I did it because I had no other choice. [00:33:46] Speaker B: And also, it needs to stay really personal to yourself. [00:33:49] Speaker C: It has to be real. I was like, why do it? Why do it if it's not real? I have all the respect in the world for the pop projects that are more created and curated and kind of polished, and I think that's cool and it's sweet and it's a nice thing to sell, but it's not real. And I know that little Me, even though I thought those kind of pop stars were, like, pretty and shiny and cool, didn't give a. So I'm doing what little me would have wanted. [00:34:18] Speaker A: Yeah. And we are in 2026, so we can do it today. Maybe more than in 30 years ago. [00:34:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:24] Speaker A: Because we got Internet. [00:34:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:26] Speaker A: Tech talk and everything like this. [00:34:28] Speaker C: Yep. So. [00:34:28] Speaker A: So that's the bad thing, but the good thing at the same time. So when you were with a crack, when you were with your first signing with Capital, that was capital. That's was cool. Or it was a strange experience or did you understand what music industry is and you say, oh, fuck, this is true. They are all. [00:34:57] Speaker C: I didn't know what the music industry was at all. I was oblivious. I had a piece of shit manager who didn't know what the fuck he was doing. Thought he did was kissing other people's asses who didn't know what they were doing. And it was a shit situation. But I learned so much vital, vital information that I am hoping to share and bestow upon other younger artists I meet now that, you know, I'm getting older. We all are, every day, but. [00:35:28] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:35:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I think. I think some days I wake up and I look younger. Some days I wake up and I look older. It depends how much water I drink and how much I slept. But no, I have a little friend who has a bunch of labels calling him right now. I'm so happy for him. But I'm also like, don't sign until you show me your contract. Because I signed terrible contracts, gave way too much money away to a bunch of men who did absolutely nothing but help walk me in to these places. And I learned a lot of lessons in that experience. Yeah. So I didn't know the music industry when I signed with Capital, and I know it pretty well now. Yeah. [00:36:08] Speaker B: You know what you don't want? [00:36:10] Speaker C: Absolutely. Know what I don't want? Know what I won't tolerate? Know what I can and can't ask for. And the truth is you can ask for anything in life. The worst you can hear is no. And the worst they can say is, oh, she's crazy for asking that. [00:36:21] Speaker A: But it's always the same thing. The school wasn't for you. Because it's always the same thing. They push people in cases and boxes. [00:36:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:31] Speaker A: And this experience of life is again, the same thing. [00:36:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:34] Speaker A: It's really rude, you know, and you still there and you say, yeah, my. [00:36:39] Speaker C: First manager and Capital together had this idea that I was gonna be like a pretty pop girl with like, two tattoos. Who wore dolls kill and was, like, kind of edgy looking, but made music that sounded like, I don't know, Sabrina Carpenter or something. No hate there. I just don't have another example to give, but. And that was just not genuine to me at all. I, like, they saw this, like, edgy girl who was talented and that was young, and they thought they were gonna have the opportunity to mold me into something they wanted, but that they didn't even care to ask what I wanted. And through that, I was able to very quickly, very loudly fight for, establish and understand my voice and who it is that I wanted to be. So if it wasn't for people trying to push me into this box, I might not have explored and discovered myself so early. You know, I always kind of had a sense of who I was since I was little. But like we talked about earlier, I also, like every other human, wanted to be liked. So there were certain things I said yes to that I wouldn't now, certain things I was willing to try that I wouldn't be now. But through that, I think I got a kind of a speed run to finding out who Romy is. [00:38:00] Speaker B: Do you think it. This experience shaped you in going further in the alternative side of things? [00:38:07] Speaker C: Definitely. Definitely. They didn't want me to have more tattoos, so I got more tattoos. Yeah. I was finding some success as a model, and like I said, they thought they wanted a girl with a few tattoos, which I had at the time. I've been getting tattooed since I was 14 years old. [00:38:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:38:25] Speaker C: So I had, you know, maybe five, six tattoos. Easy to hide, but, like, a little edgy. Right. And I was told to stop there, and I was told how I should and shouldn't dress. And the biggest mistake anyone who's ever attempted to control me has made is to not play the opposite game. Because I don't wish to be anything anyone wants of me. Me, except for a good person. And I rebelled through my expression and through the lack of wanting to conform and the lack of wanting to please these people who didn't even care to ask what I wanted at the end of the day. So, yeah, I did. I did get to discover myself through that, and I did push me further into the alternative space where I found myself very comfortable and very happy. [00:39:16] Speaker A: It feeds you. [00:39:18] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:39:20] Speaker A: So today you're independent now, or you. You're. [00:39:23] Speaker C: I'm with a distribution, but I'm primarily independent. Yeah. [00:39:26] Speaker A: So you can do whatever you want. [00:39:27] Speaker C: I do whatever I want. They. They let me put out whatever I want. They let me say whatever I want. They let me. I curate, direct all of freedom. Yeah. [00:39:35] Speaker A: That's beautiful. [00:39:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:37] Speaker A: So that's the first time you feel free for them, for sure. Is that easy to understand and to use to. You know what I mean? [00:39:47] Speaker C: Absolutely. In a way, it's kind of like a. Putting a leash on a tornado. The tornado is my brain. [00:39:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:56] Speaker C: Because with freedom, you know, there's endless possibility. So there's more work that I do with myself and with my manager, who I work really closely with on kind of. What's the word I'm looking for? Curating my world. You know, we talk about all the creative things, the outfits, the looks, the videos. And though most of the ideas come from me, she's kind of the one person I play off of the most. And, you know, there's a bit of control that I like to try and apply. There's a bit of cohesion that I try to use to wrangle, like, all these thoughts and ideas in order to try and present myself in the most expensive package that I can. Because I care to be able to compete with bigger artists who have more means, who have more money, more opportunities, everything, you know? So it's. It's. It's very fun. Yeah, it's very fun. But it can be a challenge. Sure. [00:40:56] Speaker B: Challenging. [00:40:56] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. [00:40:57] Speaker A: It's a sure hard challenge, too. [00:40:58] Speaker C: But that's what I chose, though. [00:41:01] Speaker A: But you feel happy to do whatever you want and to. It's like a good game. [00:41:06] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:41:06] Speaker A: So you win. The next level is really nice. We just listened to the new sound. New song. [00:41:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:14] Speaker A: It's out just like this Friday. It's bdsm. [00:41:18] Speaker C: Yes. [00:41:18] Speaker A: So we love bdsm, of course. [00:41:21] Speaker C: Amazing. [00:41:24] Speaker A: So it's really. Design. BDSM thing is really something. Nice. Beautiful thing, you know. What do you want to say about this song? About this. With this song? [00:41:35] Speaker C: This song. [00:41:38] Speaker B: There's a Berlin vibe to it, I think. [00:41:40] Speaker C: Is there? [00:41:41] Speaker B: I think so. Don't you think there's quite a lot of Santos? [00:41:47] Speaker C: What does that mean? [00:41:50] Speaker B: Synth. [00:41:51] Speaker A: Synth, yes. [00:41:51] Speaker C: Sinth. [00:41:52] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's a way of saying. In French, really. [00:41:55] Speaker C: Sure. [00:41:55] Speaker B: Or old school. [00:41:56] Speaker C: Okay. [00:41:58] Speaker B: Someone knows it really well here. [00:42:02] Speaker C: What would you call this genre that you think the synth borrows from? I'm curious. [00:42:05] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:42:07] Speaker C: I think I tried to say Europop and then one of my friends was like, that's not what this is. And I was like, fuck me. I don't know. [00:42:13] Speaker B: For me. For me, there's something European in it. Like that's why I say Berlin, because. [00:42:17] Speaker C: I'm going to tell her I told you so. [00:42:19] Speaker B: For me, there's a little vibe of back room in Berlin. [00:42:22] Speaker C: I love that. [00:42:23] Speaker B: For me, it's the first thing I. I saw a guy with a leather harness doing this. [00:42:29] Speaker A: No, me. I love that word. But I don't know. [00:42:33] Speaker B: That was the beginning of the song. Was this for me? So cool. In my mind. [00:42:37] Speaker C: I love that. [00:42:38] Speaker B: Then your voice was here, and the. The. The bearded guy with the harness disappeared. [00:42:44] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. So bdsm. I was so excited to put this song out. I'm still so happy just, like, to talk about it. We had a quick turnaround on it. Honestly, I made it, like, towards the end of the fall last year. And the second I wrote the chorus and we started working on it, I was like, this is a really good song. This is fucking powerful. Feels sexy, it feels strong, it's catchy, it's dark, it's pop. It's everything. I've been wanting my music to kind of blend and sound like for a while, honestly. And that's something I've been. I was chasing all year last year, and I'm still chasing now. Ever since putting out Hollywood forever, I was like, what is pop to me? What is. What is Death by Romy at, like, the most raw, unapologetic, and most expensively packaged. And it's bdsm. It's like the. It's the perfect example of what I've always wanted my music to say, sound like, you know, it touches on me and who I am at my core, which, unfortunately, is this romantic through and through and through and through and through. I have a yearning, disability. You know, it's. It's the core of who I am. It's the core of what inspires my music, is passion and romance and love. Because at the end of the day, what is our purpose if not to love? And the only thing that combats hate is love. So it's a sexy proclamation of a very passionate love affair that I was in for a few years, actually. And it was definitely inspired by a relationship that I was in. That as I kind of look back at and peel away the layers, I think was more of an example of lust than it was love. And I think at the core of it, putting this song out right around Valentine's Day and releasing that has been, like, kind of a mental trip for me, because I feel like I've only just come to that realization while all the fans and people like you are asking me, what is this song? And I think it was like, oh, I was in a relationship. I thought I was in love, and it was just lust. And we've all been there. [00:45:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:01] Speaker C: And lust is a powerful thing. If you can control it and you can use it to, you know, explore, to further yourself, then great. But it's not. It's not to be confused with love. And that's why I thought BDSM was a perfect title for this song. Because as we know, in bdsm, you know, there are place of power, control, submission, these more curated ways to experience intimacy and love. And I thought it almost works as a double entendre, because, yes, I talk about those more like physical and, like, sexual desires in the song. But at the core of it, it is just talking about a toxic relationship. That is obsession more than it is stability. That is lust more than it is love. [00:45:51] Speaker A: Yeah, love. That's that, you know, I just write questions about love after. [00:45:59] Speaker C: So. [00:46:00] Speaker A: Yeah, you said. Yeah, because. [00:46:01] Speaker C: Let's do it. [00:46:02] Speaker A: It's always like this when I listen to your music. This morning, I was just, like, by myself, and I was just, like, listening to your music, just dancing, like, I love Lady Gaga too. And I was just, like, dancing, and I was just like, oh, what is he doing? When. When she's listening to this. And I was just like, oh, this is a lot of love in it. Love. Trying. Love yourself. Trying. Understand yourself. Love ourselves is loving the other ones, too. Trying. And I was just like, but what is love? You know, love is. [00:46:36] Speaker B: What is love? [00:46:38] Speaker A: Baby, don't hurt me, please. [00:46:41] Speaker C: Not again. [00:46:45] Speaker A: You know, I was talking about love with other artists, and they say love is violence, but love is rude. But if there's no rude things. There is. There isn't love because you feel things. [00:46:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:55] Speaker A: No. [00:46:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:56] Speaker A: So what is love for you? [00:47:00] Speaker C: My. It's interesting you say that. I almost want to. I almost want to comment on something you just said before I answer the question. You said, people say love is violence and love is pain. So you said, yeah. [00:47:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:13] Speaker C: One thing that the person I left a relationship with recently I think is currently experiencing, reflecting on and going through themselves is why wasn't I more honest? Why wasn't I more outspoken about my issues, my feelings here? Because like you said, if you don't love yourself, you can love anyone else. It's a common rule as old as time. To me, love is honesty first and foremost. It's vulnerability, and it is acceptance and willingness to understand. I think love at the end of the day is not the frills it's not the roses, the elaborate trips, the dressing up sexy and, like, surprising your lover. You. You know, these things add fuel to the fire. But you strip all this away, and you have two people who ultimately want to grow old together and are going to get ugly together and are going to, you know, get fat, get shitty, get messy, cry, be sniveling, snotty, sick. And love is nothing if you can't bear yourself holy and honestly knowing that you have the chance to be. That you have the possibility of being misunderstood, but that you also have the opportunity to be understood. That's what love is. [00:48:43] Speaker A: Perfectly. Sir, I don't know what to say. [00:48:47] Speaker B: She prepared. [00:48:48] Speaker A: Everything she prepared was just like, things like, oh. [00:48:53] Speaker C: I got you. No, it's true. And I think I'm now learning that because I'm such a lover and I've been. Now I'm gonna reference the songs because I say, because I'm a lover and a fighter at the end of the night in bdsm. I have found myself in all of my relationships so willing to fight for love, to fight to be okay with getting less than I deserved to be with. Okay with that person going through shit, to be okay with that person treating me like shit sometimes because I wanted love so bad. But you can only be willing to fight so much. And the only way fighting for love is going to work is if that person as well on the other side of you, is fighting to be their best version of themselves, too. Because otherwise you got a lot of passion and a lot of fire and a lot of mess. And you can say you love someone and you can find them beautiful, but if you don't understand that person wholly. And there isn't a level, a baseline, smooth level of comfort and calm, I think there is no foundation, but just chaos. Yeah. [00:50:08] Speaker A: Again, I don't know what to say. I want to cry. [00:50:17] Speaker C: I love you and cry. It's a safe space. [00:50:20] Speaker A: You know me. [00:50:23] Speaker C: It's your space. [00:50:26] Speaker A: No. No. It's just because, you know, love, we can't manage with it. It's so. It's something is there that's just there. Sometimes it's hard because you move, you know, in your body, it's just moving everywhere. You don't. You don't understand anything. You don't know why this is why you do it for this kind of person. And. And you. Sometimes a lot of time is shitty things because you. You choose the wrong one or the other one doesn't. It's really. It's always like this. Like, we can't have the real love, you know, it's a quest. I don't know. What is it? [00:50:59] Speaker C: You got to just fucking remove the bullshit, Remove the frills. Like, I don't know. I. I learned. I. I'm so grateful to have experienced loss through love because each time I have been given a clearer sense of who I am, of what I need, what I deserve. And I've been reminded that no matter how much someone disrespects you, hurts you, lies to you, cheats on you, it is your choice to love again. And it's just a choice. And it doesn't have to be, boohoo, poor me, anything it can be. You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to sit in your feelings. But I'm grateful that I spring back and I choose to love again and again. And I hope, I hope to. I hope to continue loving everyone I meet. Platonic love, friendship, love, love of a stranger, love of an enemy. It's all you can do. [00:52:13] Speaker A: And the audience. [00:52:14] Speaker C: I love the girls who hate me. I love. I love my. I love my fans. Yeah, yeah. I love my friends. I love my mother. I love my exes. Yeah. What can you do? [00:52:28] Speaker A: You talk about your fans. That's a really nice thing. When you're on stage, you have this feeling, the power of all these humans over there. [00:52:35] Speaker C: And I just give them everything I can up there. Sometimes it's a little dangerous for me, but we're learning. We're learning. We're learning how to be gentle with myself. [00:52:51] Speaker B: Do you have a specific anecdote of something that happened that was really too. [00:52:57] Speaker C: I scream a little too much sometimes and I throw myself on the floor a lot. You got a big ass bruise right here. I don't know where it came from. Probably on stage. I've shown up to photo shoots before, like, bruises everywhere. I probably look like someone's hitting me at home. No. No one's ever. No one has ever put hands on me. They wouldn't dare, but I'm a clumsy girl and I put my all on that stage. [00:53:24] Speaker A: You lose control. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, that's what we love. [00:53:29] Speaker C: Yeah. You know, it's powerful to be able to. [00:53:31] Speaker A: You, you can do it on stage. You can do it when you got the power of the other one, the other peoples, you know, you can find it in drugs. In fact, I used to take cocaine and. And I was just like feeling this kind of thing because you got the. The lose control thing. [00:53:46] Speaker C: Interesting. [00:53:46] Speaker A: You don't feel anxiety and everything, everything is just Going like, go fuck yourself. And after, you just agree with yourself, but in a moment and then it's shit. [00:53:57] Speaker B: Don't do drugs. [00:53:58] Speaker C: Yeah, don't do drugs. Kids. [00:53:59] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:54:00] Speaker C: You can't obtain it without them. [00:54:03] Speaker B: Even grown ups don't do drugs. [00:54:05] Speaker A: Yeah. It's not good. It's not good at all. [00:54:07] Speaker C: Grown ups who do drugs are even uglier than kids who do drugs. Should have figured it out by then. [00:54:14] Speaker A: But just do an art, be an artist, go on stage and you got this free drug. [00:54:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:54:20] Speaker B: I think that all the things you feel and you can have with drugs, you can. You can achieve without drugs. But it. It asks for more work. Yes, but in the long term, it's something you can. You can do all the time. While with drugs, it's. You have this. [00:54:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:40] Speaker C: Short window of opportunity. A lot of sweatshirts, a lot of dilated pupils, A lot of kissing, ugly people. You thought looked better than. [00:54:49] Speaker B: That's true. [00:54:50] Speaker C: I don't know. I don't know. Thankfully, I've not. I've not done that. I'm really proud to say I've not done that. [00:54:56] Speaker B: Oh, but he can tell you. [00:54:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. Everything is true. Sometimes you woke up and like, who are you where I am? Okay. In another country. Okay, nice. [00:55:09] Speaker B: Been there, done that. [00:55:09] Speaker A: There's a lot of people in this bed. [00:55:12] Speaker C: I've never been there, but I would love to hear your story. Stories. [00:55:17] Speaker A: Welcome to Paris. [00:55:18] Speaker C: Live vicariously through this. [00:55:21] Speaker B: No, the next songs are going to be really, really X rated with his stories. [00:55:28] Speaker C: Oh yeah. Let's hear some inspo. [00:55:31] Speaker A: And you talk a lot about death also. [00:55:35] Speaker C: I do. [00:55:38] Speaker A: I will say love and death is quite the same. But. But your. Your way of thinking about death is quite different from me. Because I'm scared about death. [00:55:49] Speaker C: Really. [00:55:50] Speaker A: I really am scared about this. I cry when I think about that death. [00:55:53] Speaker C: Well, I definitely don't look towards it. I'm not looking forward to death, I'll say that much. [00:56:00] Speaker A: But it's quite interesting. [00:56:01] Speaker C: I love my life, but I understand the preciousness of life and how fleeting this time on earth can be. Because I lost friends early, lost family members early. To health, to natural causes, to drugs, to suicide. All of the above. And I used to think I wanted to die myself. I thought that with my whole heart, my whole soul, so passionately. Many times before that I was certain I wanted to die. And coming out the other side of that, knowing I was wrong, has given me, I think, the greatest gift and the appreciation for my life and all the prettiest girls in the world know that there is no beauty without disgust and dirt and the ugliness and that contrast is something that has always inspired me because I felt like an ugly girl when I was little, because I felt, like, weird. And I still feel like an ugly girl sometimes. We all do. Even guys feel like an ugly girl sometimes. [00:57:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:57:17] Speaker C: But learning that there is so much beauty in the vulnerability and the ways you learn to fight that, to face the world and to build yourself up in those low moments. Did I develop this, I would say, at peace relationship with life and death? Yeah. I've always been inspired by the macabre. Been inspired by things that are dark because it forces you to question yourself, your life, your comforts, or lack thereof. And I just like to embrace both because it's. It's so. It's so taboo to say things like ugly girl or to say like, you know, to say death and. Why is it. Why is it so taboo? It's the only thing we're promised. So when I. Yeah, that's true. When I came out of, you know, I used to want to kill myself. I tried at one point and I didn't work. I was so fucking grateful. I said I want my name to mean death by something beautiful. Because I want to proclaim that I am a beautiful person, that this life is beautiful, that I am intertwined with both. And I have been ever since I picked that name when I was like 16 or so. And it's never not resonated for me. I've been told to change the name for commercial reasons or this, that or the other. I'm not going to change the name. I think it's. I think at the root of it, it's a pretty simple and sweet meaning. And so when people say, oh, you sound so scary, or this, that or the other, like it's really not. It's really not. But I think it's important to have a wall or a barrier between you and those who don't want to understand you. And so if my name or the way I look is that, then I'm simply keeping out people who don't deserve to come any closer. [00:59:12] Speaker A: Perfect. [00:59:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:13] Speaker A: I think it's the perfect world for the end. [00:59:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:17] Speaker A: Because like this we can understand everything. And thank you so much for all of this. Thank you for your music, your heart, my pleasure. Yourself. [00:59:24] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:59:25] Speaker A: Because you're a really nice person and I love to talk with you. It was amazing. Thank you. How many. How much I will give you for money for the therapist? [00:59:33] Speaker B: How much do we owe you? [00:59:36] Speaker C: I'll bill your friend with therapist. Actually, I'll bill your dad. [00:59:44] Speaker B: Because he's quite the. The one in. In to blame for your mental state. [00:59:50] Speaker C: So, you know, towards the. After I broke up with the person I was talking about earlier, I tried to tell him he owed me for the therapy. I still think he does, but I don't think I'll be getting the money. [01:00:01] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:00:02] Speaker C: It's okay. It's okay. [01:00:04] Speaker B: We know some lawyers. If you want to. We'll talk about this. [01:00:10] Speaker C: I think they're making themselves suffer enough. I don't wish to cause suffering on anyone else any further. [01:00:17] Speaker A: So thank you again. Thank you for everything. Have a great show tonight because. [01:00:20] Speaker C: Thank you so much. [01:00:21] Speaker A: You will have a really nice show. [01:00:23] Speaker C: I'm sure you're going to be there. [01:00:24] Speaker B: We have the show. We're going to be live on Twitch, so. But some of our team are going there. [01:00:30] Speaker C: Amazing. Well, I hope to see you next time I'm in Paris and I appreciate you having me and I love talking with both of you. [01:00:37] Speaker B: Thank you. [01:00:38] Speaker A: Thank you. Bye. Bye. [01:01:01] Speaker C: Spotify Dessert apple, Amazon bunny.